Last night I was dreaming about being in this spy situation induced by TV watching. I am in a white house doing spy activities with a girl friend. We are getting busted so we run out the front door. I grab her hand to try to get her to go faster. She’s slow. I realize the fastest way to go is to fly. At that moment I realize this is not quite like my waking reality. Instead of waking up and really changing the situation to what would benefit me, I use the lucidity to work with the lame situation. The flying is slow so I focus on increasing the flight speed. This works a little, but overall I am still in this lame chase scene.
Lame!!! Not into re-experiencing these flying away in fear/being chased situations.
In waking, I realize that I need to move further away from the fear/worry mentality that is so easy to slip into. Every time you realize that you are asleep (i.e. stream of consciousness thinking, creating your reality from unfocused, or undesirable thought/emotion patterns) then you have to stop and think of what you really want. For example, I get hung up thinking about what I want to do with my job situation, or career goals, or whatever (beyond practicality)–when I realize that I am doing that I need to stop and think of what I really want. Like: to go into God more, in nature and inside, and then express it to others through my art. Or when I am fearing some icky option will be the outcome–as I do this I create images in my mind of negativity. Alternatively, I could be desiring the outcome I want and filling my head with images of a pleasant outcome. Not only is it incredibly stressful to go through these mental loops, it also manifests more crap and negativity in the physical world, instead of manifesting light and joy. For example: historically we are in the most peaceful time ever (statistically speaking), yet as a culture we are so focused on negativity and sensationalism that it fills the media and much of our thinking.
I was sitting in meditation and having trouble with my body and mind, getting them both to cooperate to create a peaceful state. I was doing my thing where I kind of half try to straighten up my body and focus my mind and half give up to this perceived uphill battle. I realized this and stopped the cycle, and just desired the experience of peace and centeredness and mental focus that I really want. Desiring this earnestly worked so much better than me trying to figure out the solution step by step. Throughout the meditation I kept going in between these two states. But each time the desiring worked so well and my meditation was really strong in the end.
It is a constant battle to stay awake in the dream and keep checking to see: am I putting my energy into a situation that I really want to cultivate, or could I be doing what I really want? What is it that you really want?
Wake up! Be full of light:)