1. There’s a charlatan–spiritual leader. I am still with Ma, but this is a second person to follow. Many people follow him, but I am suspicious. He wants blood. All I have to do is poke my vein with a wire and get a drop of blood. It’s harder to do than it seems. I don’t get a drop, and it hurts. I start crying.
He takes my left arm and gets blood. I didn’t want to use my left arm, because I am embarrassed by my scars. He grabs a piece of my skin near my inner elbow–he pulls it out and makes several new scars. ‘There,’ he says. I am not sure if he did that to be mean, or to tell me to get over my other scars. I’m shocked and feel fragile.
I walk around–so many people are into him, mostly women. I go to the bathroom. Someone’s left their clothes next to the toilet. Asian ladies keep pulling back the curtain and giggling at me. I shut the curtain and try to go about my business.
Everyone’s so caught up in his spell. I’m walking around purposefully, trying to make my mind up about the situation. People talk to me. I mumble about how I am still not sure whether I am sleeping or dreaming, or dreaming or awake. Finally I decide it’s all wack; I am dropping the whole scene and going to see Ma.
Later, I am driving with Lydia (to go see Ma?). We’re in her old mustang with camper top, faded red, white and blue, runs on diesel automobile. She says she’ll give it to me when she finishes paying it off. That’s cool–glad to have a funky old diesel. But odd–how could an old car like this not be paid off?
2. I go/fly to therapy. It feels awesome to fly. When it starts out I just rise up, so easily. I briefly consider whether I may be dreaming. I look around and the dream is beautifully convincing, and besides, I would rather imagine myself to be flying while awake. I talk to the lady/therapist. I ask her if she wants to fly with me. I am so excited about this. I’m holding her hands asking her, with big excited eyes. She is timid/nervous. She keeps coming up with excuses. ‘It’s not safe’–‘We’ll have to stay on the main roads’–‘But, that won’t be safe either,’ (because it is nighttime). I tell her about how it is so very safe–with flight you can do anything and you’re safe! Even if we follow the main busy road, we’ll be safe above the cars–they’ll just be pretty lights below. We’ll be impervious, et cetera. I love flying. She does not take the bait.