Archive for the ‘animals’ Category

Pudu Gives Warning


I walk next door to Dee’s house. There is a small gathering at that white ranch house that had bunnies in the backyard, like we did when I was a kid. The gathering (maybe a wedding?) is Indian catered. There is a small russet colored deer (pudu?), gorgeous color and fur, and a beautiful cow laying in the yard looking at me. The Cow and Pudu are radiant with life and health. I really want to talk to the Pudu. I look over at him, a little awkwardly. The Pudu comes over to me and takes me across the street (in front of the olive colored ranch house) to talk.

He says, “If you are going to keep living here you’re going to have to change your lifestyle.”

I ask the Pudu, “Aren’t you the Pudu?”

He says, “It doesn’t really matter.”

In response to his statement, I immediately think of midwifery school and some other places I could go besides here in Portland, that wouldn’t be so costly (in both money and time). (“Wasn’t there one I really liked in Vancouver?”) I go check it out.


Hmmm… Happy to see Pudu and the Cow, both so gorgeous. And, I love talking to people and animals in my dreams. The Cow and Pudu seem suspiciously like Anandi Ma and Dileepji. Yeah!!! I was glad for this warning. As I’ve thought about my wanting to go back to school, I’ve always been leery of the money and lifestyle crunch involved. I really don’t want to go into more debt. When I thought back on the dream, I immediately imagined myself working full-time, having a baby and going to school. There was no art in that vision of the future for obvious reasons. But, I’ve started to look into other options…and that is yielding some interesting/promising results.

This dream also made me think about my friend Dee. Dee is my oldest friend. She lived (and still lives) across the street from my childhood home. I hadn’t called her back for a couple weeks because I was sad that she might not be able to come out to visit for my wedding like I was hoping. The dream reminded me to let go of my crap and call her. Happily, it looks like she will be able to come after all, and more importantly I got to touch base with my longtime friend.


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Monkey Fable


It’s the forties, approximately, and a movie is being filmed. They are on the set, the director, etc. They are trying to show the actor how to shoot. The actor is on the set with his gun. They have trained a monkey to aggravate the actor. This goes on and on. At a certain point the actor is supposed to shoot the monkey straight in the chest. This is method acting I guess. He’ll shoot for real out of anger and frustration, so that when he needs to act it out in the movie he will do it convincingly. Finally the time comes. He pulls out his gun and points it at the monkey’s chest, who is standing with his arms out (like presentation, or a hug) looking right at him annoyingly (as he is supposed to). The actor can’t do it. He kneels on the cement floor of the studio, bent over himself. He feels defeated. The monkey comes over and hugs him. The monkey is so grateful.

I hear, “Sometimes a sign of weakness can be the best thing.”


I wake thinking about the monkey. What a horrible position to be put it. Wanting to do right by your trainers–who are training you toward your own death, but wanting to protect your own life. Because of his faithfulness to his trainers the monkey is only saved by the actor’s failure. Thank goodness for his failure.

The whole thing is set up like a DVD extra from the filming of this old ’40’s b/w movie.

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Blue Whale


Big blue whale cresting, in the big beautiful ocean.


Just a little bit of a dream, but it made me so happy. I have been hearing the whale call since I moved out to the west coast. This is the first time I have caught a glimpse of one.

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In some dark building. I look at a bunch of people. They are sitting with their blankets. One is made of two buffalo hides sewn together in the middle to form a rectangle.  This blanket is dirty and there is no energy in it. It is a sad blanket. I am instructed to take it to a powerful place and put the energy back in it. I think this means a place in nature, but once I get outside I am guided up the outside metal staircase, to the roof of a five or six story building. This building is among the trees, it seems like an old hospital or maybe a office or apartment building. This was the building I was just in.  There are people milling about around the building. I sit on the side of the roof opposite the stairs. I hold my hands above the blanket and let the energy fill the blanket. I think that maybe it is so low energy because it was made by killing without respect.

Soon the blanket is full of energy and I have a vision of a buffalo surrounded by vivid green grass. I feel joyful, the buffalo seems joyful. We communicate, in a way where my spirit body communicates but my mind doesn’t really understand. My body moves as this happens. People are walking around on the roof near me–they see what I’m doing, but don’t seem to mind.

I am told this is my gift. (Putting energy in and feeling/communicating.)


It seems the buffalo’s death can be made better by the energy interaction, even so long after his death. It seems like this thing I love so much–communicating through energy with plants, rocks, and animals, can go further than I thought. In my waking time, I am starting to see how my interactions, that help me so much, also give love and help to the beings I communicate with.

This was a perfect dream for Thanksgiving. The buffalo symbolizes manifesting abundance through right action and right prayer. Buffalo is also about gratitude and groundedness. I am learning how setting the right gentle intention for crystal work, plant work, work with relatives, etc can very much change the type of experience you would have. Approach with gentleness and love, receive gentleness and love. Also, expressing thanks for all the abundance that is in my life.  So beautiful, so often!

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I like everyone joining together to remember what they have to be thankful for. It can also be hard for me as a vegetarian. Seeing all the meat is upsetting. The last couple Thanksgivings I have been to, it seemed like people were having trouble thinking of what they had to be thankful for. Buffalo spirit made me feel that by honoring the food/meat and recognizing all that we have to be thankful for things can be made better–nature can feel the respect due. It is so important to be grateful for the food that we are given.

As we head into the winter the Bison is a symbol of strength, using its large head to push aside snow and eat the green grass underneath. Slowly moving along the easiest path, appreciating the natural flow of an unhurried life.

Thank you to Bison/Buffalo and to my crystal wand that has been helping my sleep and dreams the last few days.

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More Pudu Puda



I woke up with this running through my head: “You think you have problems? Talk to Pudu.” Indeed Pudu has problems.

In addition to suffering from habitat loss and parasites (mostly worms), the pudu is also suffering because of the introduction of other types of deer, challenging their food supply. A little more information here.

Habitat destruction is slowing down, so their is hope for Pudu. But what can be done to help ensure their future?

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Dream of Pudu


Dream: Driving and stopped on highway 1, near K-mart. I am across the street and down a little from the store. There is a group of pudu near the store. I look over at them. I really want to connect. One comes over.

He says, “I am always on the go, traveling–it will be nice to be with you for a while.” I am very happy about this. I open the door to my station wago, and he gets without any problem, which surprises me a little. He is about twice the size of Coco. I look carefully to see that it is not just a morph of Coco. He is not coco. I touch his fur and it is different from the dog’s, and it is nice. I am happy to be with the deer.

A friend is with me in the car. We drive off talking, with the pudu in the car. The pudu and I hang out a couple times. The second time I see that he has a little rectangular patch on the back of his lower neck that is missing fur. It is invested with ants. He says, “I thought you might be able to help me with this.” That’s why he came, I think. I think about this ant embedded under the skin problem. What can I do, how can this be addressed, what does it mean symbolically?

Wake: Last night I read about the endangered pudu, the smallest deer, that resides in Argentina and Chile. They are delicate little creatures with virtually no way of protecting themselves, and are suffering from habitat destruction. For about the millionth time I thought about how much I miss all the deer that live in Iowa. Argh! I miss seeing them and feeling them nearby, and interacting with them in the dreams–I really want to see them again. So happy to see them in this dream.

Ants and deer. One of my totem animals is the ant. Ants are patient, and diligent workers, they know that if they don’t get something they wanted, that’s okay because something better is coming along. The deer is gentle and persevering in a gentle way. Here ants have tried to make a home in the neck of the deer. Is there not enough patience represented in the gentle creature. Or have they been too patient? Ants are also pests. Perhaps it is time to be aggressive with this invader that has not been a polite guest–the people destroying their habitat perhaps?

Now I just have to figure out how to help.

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Crystal Selenium Fish

I’m in a small booth/room, like part of a market or craft fare. I’m looking at crystals for sale. There are less than ten crystals, and that is all the lady is selling. The room is empty besides the card table and bed. The lady behind the card table looks like she leads a very unhealthy lifestyle. She is gravely and rough around the edges, but not unfriendly. The colors are golden in the room. One of the crystals is very large, it looks like part of a fish, like the middle part with no tail or head, but a fin along the top (it seems to be naturally occurring, not shaped into the form). The crystal looks like a geode in color—purples and clear and some gray-blues, but clearer than a geode. I think it is selenium. When I hold the crystal is it not just an intensified energy flow like a normal potent rock, nope, this is high voltage, like electricity. She tells me, “yeah, I get a little energy off that one.” I laugh to myself, “Yup, it has a little energy.”

This fish crystal is $175, there is another one that is the same material but is smaller and looks like a regular crystal formation, it is only $65. I mention to her that the fish one is a little expensive. When I look at it this time, it does not have the fin all the way across the top. She replies, “Yeah, but look at it.” Clearly there is no argument. The fish crystal is worth it, I am just not sure if I should spend the money. I look at it again and see that there are water pockets on the outside and little orange fish—the size of minnows—are swimming through them. There is one pocket on the fin that is the shape of a hand, and the tip of the middle finger extends to another hand shaped pocket on the opposite side. Fish can swim on either side of the fin. She explains that you can hold your hands over the fin pockets to warm up the fish. It is such a beautiful crystal, but I am not sure about the money, so I leave.

Coco, the dog, pulls on his leash to get me over to Kevin, where he is standing in the courtyard. He has a poem to show me. Well, we go up over a roof first (more direct by smell, I guess) and we could get there by going in through someone’s apartment. I open the trap door on the roof and see someone talking. Instead I take us down and around to the courtyard. Kevin is being bashful and has written his poem on a soft metal umbrella (tin I guess). It is so high up that I have to jump up and sit on a sculpture of a rearing horse in order to read it.

Later I am in a shop that he shares with another lady. Who is this lady? I don’t know. The colors are golds and yellow/golds throughout the courtyard and the shop. They are setting up the window gradually, but it will take a long time before it is all ready—months maybe.
I go back to the shop to buy the crystal. It is still there—I was worried that it would be gone. Unfortunatly the woman is gone, so I have no one to give my money. I stand there, unsure what to do.


First of all, the drawing: I know it is bad, but I just got this graphics tablet and I’m experimenting. I had a lot of fun with the gold fish pocket.

Secondly: Selenium, hmmm… maybe I need some extra selenium. I read up on it and found that it can be implicated in low thyroid…while it is very uncommon to have a deficiency, most of the sources are meat, and I am a life long vegetarian. I shall do some selenium experimentation. And I will also save a little money in case of a crystal buying emergency. (I had been thinking about my financial planning, and I never do plan for money for special crystals that I meet.)

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