Archive for the ‘art’ Category


I look at some big maps. The are of the atlas variety. The first one that I am shown is a country near India, or Europe. In the empty/negative space around the country, there is text book type information. I don’t read it yet. But, I know that this is a map of a particularly potent place on Earth. I am excited to look at other places. There are maps of every place. I think about Iowa City, where I was born, maybe that is cool. I look at the map but there is nothing special about it. I pick up two more maps of potent places. One is a country near Puru (Bolivia?) and one is an uninhabited land like Antarctica, only at the top (N. Pole).

This information, these tomes, come from the mouth of a stone oven, which is a library. Dileepji led me here, I was hoping that he would come back again to help me out some more. There is a tall thin man, who lives in the oven. He walks around hunched over, it is only about 4-5 feet tall. He brings things out for me and goes back into other stone rooms, to get things for me from the stacks.



I want to explore these areas more and read the text that comes with them. Are they places on Earth, or perhaps, in Earth. I was thinking a lot about Hollow Earth theories, due to too much Lost, before sleep. What are these places? Are they maps of entry points, or the places themselves? What are there properties? This brought me back to my current map project. Time to get back to work on it.


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Unicorn Reflections

I put my Flying Unicorns dream up on the World Dream Bank. Wayan’s comments were helpful, they made me think about the dream more deeply and made me realize how much I miss being part of a dream group.

One thing Wayan said, was “I wonder if Lily is the unicorn, pulled out of her art-making heaven and forced down to earth by a job that sounds about as fun as cancer treatments. Grounded!”

It is true that I have been sick (not with cancer) for the last 4-5 years, and the sickness forced me to get grounded. The sickness made it hard for me to do anything, including my art. Getting grounded and reconnecting with the earth energy has not only made me feel a lot better physically, but is also leading me deeper into my art practice.

Cancer is something that comes up often for me as an archetypal illness in dreams, etc. It’s hard to say what it means for me. The energy of cancer is hard for me to deal with—no problem on an individual level, but very hard for me to say, go on a hospital floor full of cancer patients for any length of time.

Another Wayan observation: “The unicorn with cancer coming to Earth for healing: is the dream hinting she’s stoic, doesn’t care for herself properly because she doesn’t want to be a bother? She says “Oh, I’m fine” but seems more relaxed with the blanket on. Is there a message here?”

The unicorn says she’s okay without the blanket. The blanket doesn’t address her illness, but it does make her feel better. Similarly, this summer I finally allowed myself to be adequately treated with Synthroid for my Hashimoto’s thyroiditis. The pills don’t address the underlying autoimmune disorder, which bothers me, and I am not a fan of taking pills for the rest of my life, so I tried to get by on as little as possible until a few months ago. For the first time in years I feel mentally competent and am no longer suffering from chronic minor, yet thoroughly aggravating physical problems. Thank goodness! While I still hope to turn over the underlying problem through natural medicine, why not feel human during the process. Apparently it will take a miracle for my immune system to stop attacking my thyroid, so really I have nothing to lose. The blanket is pink, a color I enjoy, but associate with candy coating and artificiality–further confirming this parallel between the blanket as a treatment for cancer and my pills, comfort measures.

Wayan: “The dog-nail needed to make the unicorns’ gift work. The biggest one doesn’t fit; the best is the nail from the next-to-smallest. The equivalent of our ring finger? Mysterious because it’s so specific. Just “size isn’t everything”, or something more? Lily doesn’t mention if she has a dog, or a wedding ring, or anything else that’d make that particular finger/toe symbolic. But I wonder.”

I identify this as being the same as the “old black glove” from a prior dream. The old black glove was a dream I used for my last installation of Fly Awake. (Insert Picture.) Both the gun and the glove refer to a mudra, or gesture, used to focus energy. I often use this mudra in meditation, and it does remind me of play guns. The dog nail? I do have a dog, but the nails were not like his. I associate dogs with loyalty—faith in the mudra perhaps. I associate nails, with correctness—as in, “hit the nail on the head”—obviously different kinds of nails, but still that is the association.


One thing came up recently in regard to the second to smallest finger. I was reading about the use of silver. In His book “Gem Elixirs and Vibrational Healing, Vol. 1” Gurudas says, “Where silver upon either small index finger.” I was very perplexed by this…which finger is the small index finger? Perhaps this is an answer to that question–the ring finger.
Lately I have come back to the “old black glove” mudra, but for a while I was mostly using my hands to connect with the earth—get grounded. While I find that I really like using the mudra to focus my mind, now I am more connected to my energy, and the Earth’s, making the mudra not as necessary.

Thanks to Wayan for making me think more about the dream. Stop by the World Dream Bank—it’s getting bigger and bigger. Add a dream or just enjoy what others are sharing.

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Art Show, Mud, Good Vibes

Dream: I walk into my art show with Ben. I can’t believe how big the space is. It’s amazing that I filled it, and really filled it too, not my normal minimal style–there are pictures everywhere. I am kind of glad I didn’t have to face it as an empty room, much less stressful to see the final presentation of my work than worry about installation. Most of the stuff is paintings and drawings, watercolors, oils… It kind of surprises me, because it is just not like my current work. Well, actually it is all the sketches behind my current work. There is another (small) room. I look in and I apparently have filled that room too. The images are smaller (like the room). These images are like the sketches for the sketches you could say. Some of the pictures I recognize as mine, others, not yet.

We walk around, everyone is happy and smiling. There are lots of people there. I sent out five packets of my work to different galleries, and got at show at this one. It seems Ben helped me out too, maybe by his art world influence. Ben walks me over and introduces me to this middle-aged man sitting behind the desk in the gallery. He is the one who curated my show. He looks unimpressed (it seems to be a constant state for him), he tells me, “I’m in charge of women’s art”. As in: this is what he curates. I wonder if that is the reason he picked my stuff, which seems to be a little lamer than just liking my work a lot. Then he walks away, slightly stooped, slightly potbellied, gray hair, holding a paper cup.

I am ready for some air. I try to fly to go outside. Partly I just want to fly and partly I want to show off a little. I feel a little bad about this motivation, but no one notices my efforts anyway. It is hard to fly because I am so tired–I am not sure I am going to make it, but I do. I get out doors (it’s a night time opening) and try to land on an electrical wire. Instead I just hit it with my back. It doesn’t shock me, I guess because I am not touching anything else/not grounded. I land on the ground in the mud, and decide to lay down and rest there–get grounded after the party. Ben comes out and I am worried for a minute that he will think I am immature for laying on the ground like this. (I think I am wearing my white dream dress from my photos.) He smiles and he says, “you are everything I could imagine.” As in: love. He lays beside me and holds my hand. I move my head closer to his and at first he thinks that I am trying to get more space and he moves his head away. Then he realizes what I want and he moves his head closer to mine. We lay there happily for a while in the cool night.


What is up? I have no idea what happened to get such cool dreams the last couple nights. All I have been doing is working too much, poking people at the hospital, over and over again. Blood, complaints, some chilling, but work nonetheless. Actually my work is interesting, because more and more I see how peoples reactions have so very little to do with what/whoever they are supposedly reacting to. For example, I will walk into two patient’s rooms and inform them that I am going to start and IV, one person will say “That is so great, I am so glad someone who knows what they are doing is here–thank you!”; the other person: “Oh my God, can this night get any worse? You’ll never be able to get my veins.” Sometimes I still get annoyed by the not so pleasant people, but overall it is making me not take either extreme very seriously.

Back to dreams: anyways, I guess with all this work I have been really bumming about not getting to do art. For a while the creative juice wasn’t really flowing the way it used to. Now the ideas are coming I just don’t have time to do much with them. These dreams are wish fulfillment–facilities to do art, time to do art (another dream last night where I lived in an art house with Kevin), and space to show my art. Also, today is a galactic activation portal, and I usually dream more exciting dreams at those times. Galactic activation portals are part of the Mayan calendar system, they are times when you are more likely to be open to receiving information from higher/other sources. Also, Monday was my Guru’s Mahasamadhi–when he finally gave up His body and merged more completely with the universe. Days of spiritual potency often bring more intense dreams for me. Basically I feel like I have been very lucky and I can’t wait to dream some more and work on my art in all my spare moments.

The art in my dream is my old style: My goal with my dream (art) work was to bridge the more abstract and often channeled work I used to do in painting and drawing and the very refined minimalist work I do in photography. I do think its working, and maybe that is part of what the dream is saying. That it is presentable. Even if it doesn’t all look perfect, like I like my photos to look, it makes up a great big show. Hmmm…

And, Ben: Well this is someone from my past, an art person that I had a crush on and worked with. But in the dream he really acts as much like Kevin (fiancé) as he does himself, for example: the perfect response to my internal worries, smiles and handholding. But Ben does mean devoting your life to art and that is something I would like to dream up a lot more of in the waking time.

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Dream:  I am sitting  in a grassy  open area  on a hilltop with two friends.  We are watching the flying unicorns. It is a blue sky with only a few white puffs of clouds. There are three unicorns. They prance around in straight lines like they are on the ground (someone points this out). Sometimes they have small white parachutes on and they float up and down. They come nearer to us and then go far away. I focus inward and really hope that they come close. The unicorns come back and land on the Earth–much to my surprise and delight! They sit and talk with us. Part of the reason that they have come down to Earth is because one of them has cancer.


We are all sitting around in a circle. The unicorn with cancer is lying on my left. I cover her up with a pink blanket, even though she says she is okay. Still, when the blanket is on her she looks more comfortable. We talk for a while very comfortably. Then we have dreams where the unicorns come and visit. In mine they tell me that I am having trouble cleansing at night because I am eating snacks too late. We wake up on the hill and we all say how we dreamt of the unicorns. I ask them what their dreams were to see if they were different or the same. One of my friends explains that in his there were chickens.  Ah! So the unicorns had a special message for each of us.

I am in a car in the passenger seat. I have been given a present by one of the unicorns. I unwrap it. It looks like an orange/red plastic toy gun. The tip of the gun is missing (in a sawed off kind of way). The instructions are to put a dog nail (paw nail) into the slot. I have five nails on the ground at my feet–these are complete nails that almost look like there is a little bit of paw attached. I think the biggest one will be the best so I try that first. It ends up that the second to smallest is the one that fits.

I point the gun ahead of me and it supports me, protects me and makes me go faster where I want to go.

I sit on my blue asan, and point the gun forward. I speed past many things. Then I slow down and I can’t get it to go faster. I look and see a team of police officers coming my way. I realize if I had still been speeding I would have been caught by the police officers. Once I get past them I am able to go fast again.

I don’t have the gun anymore, and I don’t see where I left it. I find that I am now able to direct things with my hands. I don’t know where I am going, but my hands allow me to get there fast and easily. I finally stop inside a building, right outside a darkroom and printmaking studio. It is very run down and I don’t have my supplies with me but I am going in and going to get to work–I miss it so much. There is a man there–in his thirties with long curly brown hair. He manages the studio. There are three used iPods hanging on the wall. He doesn’t really look at me, but he picks one and offers it to me to use while I work.  Just what I needed.

I am talking to someone. I am in different clothes–dressed nicer, in some pink sweater. It must be different day, but still at the studio. I tell them I used to do printmaking and photography for the beauty of it, but now it is different.

Wake: Now it’s about telling a story/sharing an experience.  Before the images needed to look totally complete individually, now they should look incomplete without their companion  images, stories, and sound.

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Taking Your Camera Into Dreamtime–an illustrated guidebook, by Moi! How do you take pictures in dreamtime? This little booklet gets you started on doing just that. All about dream recall, lucidity, and having fun at night.


More info about it here.

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I’ve been working on story boards for “Fly Awake”. These are still in formation but looks like water color sketches related to bird visitation dreams. The different ways, for example, that eagle has offered support and guidance. There was a little of that in the original installation, along with the notebook part. I have also starting going back into the notebook area, putting together a new version from my writing and thoughts about flying/lucidity. It’s nice to go back into this part of the show, which I’ve been neglecting for a while. It is really helping me synthesize all messages.

The other day I was reading Vaishali from vol 25/no 4 of Dream Network. She wrote about becoming lucid and asking dream characters questions. She found that the characters weren’t very forthcoming with information. With a little help from some fellow dreamers she found that unconditionally loving the dream characters opened the doorways to communication.
It can be a challenge not to judge the images and ideas that come up in dreams. But they are all parts of ourselves, and if we alienate them, they may do the same to us. It was pretty exciting to get this information. Sometimes hearing things expressed in a new way really solidifies things.

I also saw a new thing in flight. Two crows were on a telephone wire. Instead of pushing off the wire and flapping wings, one leaned off at an angle, falling forward, then opening his wings to be caught by the wind.


1. I am looking for something rather clandestine. Going through a big old building with high ceilings. I enter into the spanish history room of the library and feel like a rocket. The room has shelves of old books, from floor to ceiling, great natural light from big windows and a ladder that rolls along the shelves. I feel like a rocket but am low and slow enough to read the shelves. I feel the crown of my head very strongly and information coming through from the lineage. I am very excited and grateful to have found the room. I bow down again and again to the lineage for their help in the dreamworld.

2. A man and a woman living in 2010 or 2020. She is from 2050, so it could be then. The man is from the past, he came to the future to find the woman. They are together, but not yet. They are in separate rooms. He is looking for something.
Later they are preparing to go back to 1950 (his time). My aunt is trying to get me to take all this children’s furniture, more than I’ve taken already. Her kids are around her (how I remember them–as children–not how they are, adults). She acts like my mother, very bossy, telling me what to do about everything.
They arrive in 1950. There is more natural land and open space, things are less overbuilt than she’s used to. She’s so very happy. She can expand much more in the relaxed environment. I think about how her reaction makes sense, considering the difference in feeling between the two time zones.
We are walking down the sidewalk together. I lift off and fly, I am golden eagle. He is a little behind me, on my left, and a little lower, he is a streak of shining white light–.

3. (two nights) See deer, just looking at me, in nature, briefly.

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Tricky Mind

Lately I’ve been getting a lot of questions about how this all got started, the vivid dreams, etc. I used to have the occasional flight dream and I always loved the experience. Then I got really into the idea of someday being able to fly while awake, sure it seems crazy, but why not reach for the stars. I focused a lot more on my dreams, recording them and analyzing them, and trying to get clues about what it means to fly in dreams and how I could eventually fly while awake. The more I focus on my dreams the more I remember them and the more insight and delight they bring me. Sometimes a dream’s meaning will click immediately and sometimes years later the images will finally make sense.
Since I have been doing this project many people have told me about their flight dreams. I love hearing dream stories, it is so special when someone shares this private and sensitive part of their lives with me. The Fly Awake project, like my art in general, has to do with experiences coming from my spiritual practices, and sharing these experiences with others. After seeing the show, people shared with me their own spiritual experiences and ideas about flight from places I hadn’t looked into. This was a truly awesome, totally unexpected happening. People have frequently reacted very positively to my work, and found it contemplative and calming, which is what I want, but never have they responded so candidly. This makes me very happy.
Recently I have been reading more about shamanism, to get insight about the dream world, and for all you dream fliers out there, this is considered a sign of flexibility and awareness on the part of your soul, which is the part of you that flies while dreaming, and is a “prerequisite,” (if you can deal with that idea,) for further shamanic explorations.
I read of a shaman who was taught that when she realized she was dreaming to go to sleep, and when she again realized she was dreaming to go to sleep again. At the second level of dream lucidity she would see crazier stuff and at the third level she was able to interact more and to ask for and receive information. (This is from Woman in the Shaman’s Body). I thought I would work on this, and had the following
I start to lift of the ground, flying is a sort of sloppy, swimmy way. I realize I am dreaming and lay down to go to sleep. I focus on my third eye, with my eyes closed. There is a really shiny, shimmering white light in front of me. Things get clearer and clearer, I feel like I am waking up for real, and worry that I messed up the dream and am actually awake. My mom’s there, she is bugging me about something or other as I wake up. I want her to leave me alone. Later there is a girl (me, but I’ve dissociated), she’s teaching a classroom of kids, then I worry that she has killed herself, but I see that actually she killed her mother (appearing still as my mother), I am happy about this outcome.

Well I didn’t exactly make it to the second level of lucidity, the mind is a super tricky thing! Hopefully I will remember to experiment with that in future dreams.
Lucid dreaming can vary from just being aware of yourself dreaming to being able to fully effect the outcome of your dream. We are all manifesting our waking reality whether we realize it or not. Playing with lucidity in the dream world helps bring awareness to this process while awake. Are you awake, or are you asleep?

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