Archive for the ‘eagle’ Category


A friend of mine (a guy) and his friend (also a guy, but seemingly younger/smaller) tell me about how they’ve found an apartment. They’re staying in a house for five, with four rooms. They sound very excited about it. Really my friend speaks for both of them.

Later, I am away, as in a vacation. I find a place to stay for the night. A little rooming house. I over hear a lady ask the manager: “So, if I decide to stay a minute or two late (meaning 5:07) will I be charged extra?” The manager lady (somewhat begrudgingly) says no. Then she is talking to me and informs me the checkout time is 5. I understand this to mean 4pm, initially I thought it might be am, but that would be strange. I am pretty happy about this information, I hate having to rush early in the morning and carry my belongings with me around town.  I remember my friend Rachel stayed here before, and told me about the late check out time, but left early in the day anyway. I was sad that she left early when we could have hung out longer, but I understood that she had things to do.

The place is nice for a house. I am comfortable.  I am the only one around after being shown to my room. The other lady and the manager have gone. I decide to look around. Furnishings look to have been purchased in the late 70’s, but are well maintained. The furniture may be older, it is nice, but the bed coverings have those colors and materials. Nothing’s gaudy, they weren’t trendy when purchased, just of that era. I like that about the place, I wish more things were maintained instead of pitching and remodeling. Most of the rooms are very small like mine. There are only three bedrooms so far. The rest are common spaces, this is also nice, places to live in, as opposed to just using every scrap of space for renting rooms. Then I find the double room. I peak in. It has a full bed and a smaller mattress on the floor. It looks comfortable but sparse (like the rest of the place), somewhat institutional I guess. Every few moments as I am looking I realize there are people sleeping in the beds. I try to become more aware of this. I realize they are my friends (the guy and his friend). I find this comforting. I quietly back away and go to my room.

The next day I go down to the river for a festival or carnival of some sort. I walk on the boardwalk and see a variety of people. One asks me about Coco, I explain I didn’t want to bring him for this. I see a little chihuahua, I think it might be Chichi. I pick her up and smell her belly. It’s not her. I am a little disappointed.

I lean on the railing and look out over the river. It’s dusky, night is almost full, everything looks black and white. I see a very large owl flying down the river and into some woods that are off to my right in a small island.  It was a barred owl. I see a couple more owls, flying in the same direction. They are not all the same, but one is a barred owl. Then I see one flying towards me and off to my left. This one has a white moon face–barn owl! I had never seen a barn owl before.  I am in shock about how amazing it is to see the owls. They are so beautiful.

I want to take pictures of the owls. When I get out my camera they are gone. An eagle lands on a buoy to fish. I think maybe I’ll take his picture since the owls are gone. He does some funny things with his wings, like try to scratch his back–when he does, his color goes funny, sort of thin/transparent, and he doesn’t seem so real, like maybe he is not an eagle.

As I continue looking at him he is more like a person. He sits more like a man, and looks at me. He has an eagle beak. He is reddish, he has a long beard that goes from blond to red, or red to blond, it is hard to pin down.

He’s on the boardwalk now. As big as a big man, looking like a 6’4″ morbidly obese Native American man.  I ask to take his picture and he doesn’t seem to object, nevertheless he keeps shapeshifting in ugly ways. First he looks like an eagle. Then his beard is back. I have been trying to politely talk with him, despite his attitude being a little off-putting. I tell him that I like his beard. He looks down, as if to say, this is not a beard. I had been trying to figure out if it was a beard or feathers. At that moment, I realize it is made up of very fine peacock-like feathers, very wispy, and  very many.

Then he grabs a person walking by and poses for the camera like they are sloppy drunk people. Then he again looks huge and fat.  He sits in front of me, looking straight at me.  Just as I am about to take the picture, he turns his head over his right shoulder and vomits dark brown–he’s eaten too much. His vomiting makes me so sick that I turn and vomit over the rail. My vomit is light in color. I find this situation strange, as I do not normally get sick to my stomach. I turn back and finally take his picture. Then I think about how we both probably need to brush our teeth.


This dream was very puzzling for me. It brought up some issues I have been thinking about regarding cameras and dreams and cameras and birds. I have a big internal battle between over respecting boundaries and knowing when things are no big deal. Here’s where I am siding for the moment: I think it is really important to take pictures of subtle things (like birds who know you’re watching) only if they seem okay with it, and your heart really wants it. I, on the other hand, have been doing a bit of casual shooting, kind of: ‘oh, I want to shoot owls, but I’ll take you since you’re around’. Not very respectful of the life form that happens to rank not so high at the present time. So that was a good lesson, especially since I have been working on my guide: Taking Your Camera into Dreamtime.

Let’s see, the dream also reminds me of a crappy movie I saw recently (the bed and mattress on the floor) and a particularly unsavory fellow that I ran into at work. I almost became lucid when I puked, as that is apparently even more unlikely than me standing in front of a shapeshifting eagle. Here’s to more lucidity in the future.


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Eagle Trips


I am talking to a coworker and hoping she will tell me stories about eagles. I am leaning on something in her direction.  Just  as an eagle flies into the scene, his golden feet trip on a telephone wire. This strikes me as odd, and I am a little disappointed.  I don’t get to hear any stories.

Ha. So actually last night I was talking to my coworker, hoping to hear owl stories. She was caught up on the computer with some drama (which doesn’t seem like her), so we didn’t get to talk. I hope to hear stories in the future.

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I go on a trek looking for Barred Owl. My sister in law has seen one. She tells me there’s one living in the carousel down by Oaks Bottom. She says there are two screech owls 1/4 mile down a trail, in a huge rotted out tree. I don’t know the trail. I go to the carousel but I can’t find Mr. Barred. I don’t see anything in there at all. I think he would be pretty hard to miss. But maybe I’ll check back later. I go and see what excitement might come to me today.

I park my bike by the marsh and it promptly falls over. I leave it there and look at the swallows and herons. I see a red bellied hawk, a vulture and a young eagle. I take my bike and park it by a trail. Maybe I will see this big old tree afterall. I walk the trail and then down to the marsh. I am kind of hidden, it seems like life is closer to me. A young eagle swoops to fish. He flies above me off and on, still carrying his snack. I have a snack. I keep thinking I should check for my cell phone. It’s not there. I think it fell out when my bike fell over. After a while I slowly make my way back to my bike to look for my phone.

I am about to unlock my bike and a lady rides up to me asking if I am Lily. I am. She has my phone. She called my brother and he told her about the owl. She wants to see it. We decide to go back to the carousel. Her boyfriend, Aaron, comes too. When we get there I still can’t see anything. Her boyfriend points out a screech. Here is the screech living in the carousel! The screech flies to the top of the inside. I can barely see, but am so excited. I want to take a picture, but it is way too dark. A carni comes up to us. He takes us behind the locked gate and shows us where the screech 2 is resting. Not 8 feet away. So excited! I get my picture (thank you owl!) and then we have to leave the gated area. We talk for a little while. They are friends of birds and from the midwest, too. What a strange path to take to meet the owl.

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Dream: Pleasant conversation with a cartoon like version of the (crowish) bald eagle from my dream the other night.

I don’t remember the conversation right now, but it seemed jovial enough. The bird was small and squat and had the darkened coloring (dark goldish head) of the crowy eagle when the light first changed enough for me to see more than it’s outline and realize it was not a crow. I am wondering if my drawing and painting of dream birds is the connection here. Also the bird reminds me of Herky the Hawk. I was thinking (again) recently how silly it is that he’s called a hawk when he looks like a bald eagle. At any rate, thanks for the visit!

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Waking Dream: Yesterday afternoon, sitting on the couch, talking to Kevin about Anandi Ma stuff and about using mantras with animals. Then a female gold finch flying straight in my direction smashes into the window and dies on our fire escape. Sadness. We did what we could for the bird, prayed and found it a final resting spot for the perfect little creature. Today we are going to get some of those non-reflective bird stickers for the window and a feeder for the fire escape. Sorry little birdie!

Last night my dreams kind of ran together, but they involved similar searches.

Dreams: In a class with Kevin in the 1970’s. We’d never been to the class before, but are told about how, after class the teacher puts these quiches and cheesecakes, made with a layer of unapproved pharmaceuticals, into the hollow of this giant tree stump, so students can get them, without her actually giving the drugs to them.

We had been getting some pizza but we go over to the tree stump. It is very dark and earthy there, fecund. I go into the stump, kind of hunched over a bit, but standing inside the tree. There are a few pills in a sandwich bag, left over from before, then there are a few (3-5) quiches and cheesecakes in bags too. I can see the layer of crushed pills in them. At first I am just going to grab three of them, leave $50, and go. I thought it was leave as much money as you want. Then I start to think about how one drug sounds like poppers and the other sounds like some sort of psychedelic. I am not really interested in experiencing this stuff just for a new experience. I can feel the teacher watching what we are doing out of the corner of her eye. A girl comes in to get one and I find out that they are $20 each. I get one of each for Kevin and leave.

I walk around the base of this big earthy brown situation of a tree stump and try to figure out how to fly under it, deep into Mother Earth to find out what she would suggest taking to balance my body out.

I see an eagle flying toward me, I hold out my arm hoping he’ll land, but he keeps flying.

I go to a man and ask him what he thinks about this whole going back to school thing I have been thinking about. I tell him that Mother Earth told me just to do what I want to do now and there will be plenty of time later to do what I think I ought to, or what sounds like a good idea. (This school thing falls into the “sounds good, feels not so great” category.) After saying this, I role my eyes at myself and walk away, after all why would I need any more advice if I have the Mother Earth’s word.

I accompany a female friend–my roommate–to the cat lady (who also has dogs) for advice. My friend reminds me of my mother, in her mannerisms. The cat lady walks around the house as she talks to her. The house is very messy and dirty, full of animals. There is a guys there too, kind of like a vet assistant. The cat lady gives me something. It is sewn up like a tea bag is stapled. I have to untie it, but the tread is actually a very thin worm. It is not too gross or wiggly. It looked like a tough knot, but it comes out fairly readily.

The cat lady tells my friend that for her situation she recommends getting a cat. In fact the cat lady is in the market to get rid of a cat, so it is mutually beneficial and she can pick one out. This comes as a surprise. My friend was definitely not looking for a cat, but is open to suggestions at this point.

Outside, I see a crow. On closer inspection I see it is not all black but is actually a small bald eagle. (There are millions of crows where I live–in waking time–so I tend to assume that I am seeing a crow at first.) This bald eagle in crow proportions is actually a man who has become a bald eagle. He is going to show my how to fly/get up in a tree. Because I want to fly when I see him flying, but don’t remember how, or realize I am dreaming. He starts to grab the tree branch to swing himself up, but I think how if you have feathers not fingers you can’t do that. So instead he uses his beak (pulls himself up by his teeth) to swing himself up onto the branch. He is up on the branch and stands with his arms akimbo, stance wide and smiles down at me. The pose is just like mine in my Lloyd dream (from 3 years ago) where I am a superhero guy in Portland, (that is how I fly, by being a guy). In the dream, when I do something great, my theme song plays and I stand like that (my theme song is “Lloyd” sounding like “Lola” by the Kinks).

Throughout these dreams I was not feeling very lucid (much like in Chillin’) but kept trying to think about how to make it a lucid dream, thinking about how I would change the situation, how to fly, etc. This is something that I have been doing more in waking time and I seems to be transferring over even when I don’t feel particularly lucid.

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I’ve been dreaming but, I haven’t had internet for the last week or so things have been very slow. Yesterday I went on a long walk down at Oaks Bottom, special marshy place. Got to see lots of a awesome bird action. Hawks and an eagle, sitting rather far away, so not sure if it was an immature or a golden. Also saw osprey in their nest and and many many herons, and a wide array of little birdies. I actually went out because my sister in law told me she had seen a screech owl and a barred owl sleeping in the trees there earlier. I wasn’t so lucky in the owl department, but had an awesome time nonetheless.

Dream: (a couple nights ago)
I am inside sitting on the floor cross legged, I am looking out a wide opening in the wall. Reminds me of a Japanese house with the wide doors and big porches. I see a kettle of birds rising. They are in a loose tornado like formation. Mostly there are bald eagles, but I see a sitting swan (representing grace and faith in the future) rising up with them. I look closely and see a eagle that has morphed from a sea gull into what looks more like a white tailed eagle. (There are lots of sea gulls here in Portland.) I watch as the eagle gracefully flaps his wings. As he’s flapping he brings in the tip of his left wing to his beak and blows me a kiss. I am so happy just to see the birds and then very delighted when he gracefully blows me a feather kiss. I try to take some pics of the birds, but fail to get anything. Then later I see two large mountain rams (I think) sitting in an adjacent room looking out at me and a group of people. They are very large and hairy and and a soft rust color. I am sitting right in the doorway and try to take pics but people keep leaning in front of me with their point and shoots and blocking my shots. I ask this lady to give me a little room, and she gets pissed and asks why I should have space. I shy away.

The night before this dream I was doing some tarot and used my eagle feather to help me out and asked eagle for help seeing the bigger picture. I felt the energy strongly and felt that I finally understood a bit more about how to ask for help from the animals. Thank you Eagle!

So while I didn’t get any pics in the dream I did get a few at Oaks Bottom. Here are the Osprey in their nest.

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Already There

Dream: I arrive in Portland, at my brother’s house. I go in and sit next to him on the couch for a bit. He is a little bit frowny, but that’s not unusual. I go peek out the window across from us. It is an awesome view (mostly of nature). I go outside and across the street, behind the houses, I can see what looks like a newer, good quality grade school. It is really big, it stretches around the curved street, so it looks like it takes up more than a block. I look over to my right and see a very large brown bird, of the yellow feet variety, (golden? junior baldy, or hawk?) stooping to catch something. Then I see him flying up after skimming the river. He has something in his beak, it is dripping–maybe a fish? Only just arrived and already seeing exciting bird action. I go inside. Later Erica takes me around to help me find a job.

So I woke up feeling good about from the dream, but spent the day, not in Portland, but packing the moving van in very rainy, moderately cold, very slushy weather. Not as bad as I thought it would be, overall just very glad to be packing up and shipping out.

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