Archive for the ‘flying awake’ Category

220px-martin_crane.jpgIn a recent dream I was riding on an airplane wing with my herb instructor, Marty Crane of Frasier, and one other person. Marty’s appearance was a bit of a mystery. The next day I went to herb class and my teacher told a story about having sciatica a few years back and demonstrated how he walked–exactly like Marty!

He talked about experiencing ‘old-man’-ness for the first time. He got over the sciatica and some repressed anger that brought it on with the help of a plant–Mormon Tea. This situation made the holographic nature of reality more clear to me.

We all have our face that dominates the current time in our lives. Still we have other faces. Sides of ourselves that we don’t see very often, our past selves/other sides of our personality, but at certain times they come out. Suddenly we are in many ways the person we were 5, 10, 50 years ago. Maybe we are tired, or a situation reminds of us something familiar in the past–suddenly we feel like a kid again. I become very aware of it when I am going through a transformative period. I am aware enough of both what I have been and who I hope to be that it becomes very obvious when I see myself slipping back and forth between the old self and the new self, shifting like a holograph.

Acknowledging things are this mutable, we see that we can easily be, but don’t have to be pulled around by changing thoughts and external events. By focusing our energy we can change the dream so that when we see a side of ourselves we are not so fond of we can shift into our more preferred self.


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Went to the carnival today with Kevin. I couldn’t believe it, but Mr. and Mrs. Screech are just going about their business, sleeping the day away in the carousel hut, never mind all the noises and kids running around. I got to look at them for a while and take some more pics. This time I realized just how small they really are.


1. I am standing on the back of an electric wheelchair–one of those ones that weigh a freaking ton. My friend is on the wheelchair too. We are flying through the evening sky, fairly low and fairly slow, but flying on a very heavy wheelchair nonetheless. We are going somewhere–maybe a knitting store, we are having fun.

2. I am with a bunch of people, going over hurdles as we’re being chased. Some of the hurdles are made from earth and living trees. There are birds and some lizards (a salamander, or a gecko?) in the trees. I see some of them as I go over the hurdles. It makes me happy. I half fly, half climb with my hands (like I am braiding roots and vines, not struggling myself over) to get over the hurdles that are 8-9 feet tall. I know that I am dreaming. Instead of waking up in the dream, I want to stay and find out what is going to happen, so I keep going. We are headed towards our very large liftoff/freedom chair. All eight of us will fit on it, blasting into the future, or outerspace, avoiding our pursuers. Coco is already sitting on the chair, next to where I will sit, he is chewing on something, or maybe cleaning his paws. There is a plastic bag in front of him on the ground with his poop in it. Just as I get to the top of the last hurdle I wake up.

I guess I did go on some pretty crazy chairs at the carnival: the spider and, for my first time, a roller coaster. I liked the spider the best. And a large electric wheelchair was a bit of an obstacle at work recently.

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I go on a trek looking for Barred Owl. My sister in law has seen one. She tells me there’s one living in the carousel down by Oaks Bottom. She says there are two screech owls 1/4 mile down a trail, in a huge rotted out tree. I don’t know the trail. I go to the carousel but I can’t find Mr. Barred. I don’t see anything in there at all. I think he would be pretty hard to miss. But maybe I’ll check back later. I go and see what excitement might come to me today.

I park my bike by the marsh and it promptly falls over. I leave it there and look at the swallows and herons. I see a red bellied hawk, a vulture and a young eagle. I take my bike and park it by a trail. Maybe I will see this big old tree afterall. I walk the trail and then down to the marsh. I am kind of hidden, it seems like life is closer to me. A young eagle swoops to fish. He flies above me off and on, still carrying his snack. I have a snack. I keep thinking I should check for my cell phone. It’s not there. I think it fell out when my bike fell over. After a while I slowly make my way back to my bike to look for my phone.

I am about to unlock my bike and a lady rides up to me asking if I am Lily. I am. She has my phone. She called my brother and he told her about the owl. She wants to see it. We decide to go back to the carousel. Her boyfriend, Aaron, comes too. When we get there I still can’t see anything. Her boyfriend points out a screech. Here is the screech living in the carousel! The screech flies to the top of the inside. I can barely see, but am so excited. I want to take a picture, but it is way too dark. A carni comes up to us. He takes us behind the locked gate and shows us where the screech 2 is resting. Not 8 feet away. So excited! I get my picture (thank you owl!) and then we have to leave the gated area. We talk for a little while. They are friends of birds and from the midwest, too. What a strange path to take to meet the owl.

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Last night I was dreaming about being in this spy situation induced by TV watching. I am in a white house doing spy activities with a girl friend. We are getting busted so we run out the front door. I grab her hand to try to get her to go faster. She’s slow. I realize the fastest way to go is to fly. At that moment I realize this is not quite like my waking reality. Instead of waking up and really changing the situation to what would benefit me, I use the lucidity to work with the lame situation. The flying is slow so I focus on increasing the flight speed. This works a little, but overall I am still in this lame chase scene.

Lame!!! Not into re-experiencing these flying away in fear/being chased situations.
In waking, I realize that I need to move further away from the fear/worry mentality that is so easy to slip into. Every time you realize that you are asleep (i.e. stream of consciousness thinking, creating your reality from unfocused, or undesirable thought/emotion patterns) then you have to stop and think of what you really want. For example, I get hung up thinking about what I want to do with my job situation, or career goals, or whatever (beyond practicality)–when I realize that I am doing that I need to stop and think of what I really want. Like: to go into God more, in nature and inside, and then express it to others through my art. Or when I am fearing some icky option will be the outcome–as I do this I create images in my mind of negativity. Alternatively, I could be desiring the outcome I want and filling my head with images of a pleasant outcome. Not only is it incredibly stressful to go through these mental loops, it also manifests more crap and negativity in the physical world, instead of manifesting light and joy. For example: historically we are in the most peaceful time ever (statistically speaking), yet as a culture we are so focused on negativity and sensationalism that it fills the media and much of our thinking.

I was sitting in meditation and having trouble with my body and mind, getting them both to cooperate to create a peaceful state. I was doing my thing where I kind of half try to straighten up my body and focus my mind and half give up to this perceived uphill battle. I realized this and stopped the cycle, and just desired the experience of peace and centeredness and mental focus that I really want. Desiring this earnestly worked so much better than me trying to figure out the solution step by step. Throughout the meditation I kept going in between these two states. But each time the desiring worked so well and my meditation was really strong in the end.

It is a constant battle to stay awake in the dream and keep checking to see: am I putting my energy into a situation that I really want to cultivate, or could I be doing what I really want? What is it that you really want?

Wake up! Be full of light:)

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I have been calling out to deer lately, and here is what I got in response.

A. Saw a group of dear in a clearing in the woods at night. Very green and lush, the deer are calm, some are looking over at me.
B. I see a bunch of little metal (maybe pewter) deer heads. They are loose representations of deer head, they are small (about the size of a quarter) and not too detailed. They all look the same. The deer’s ears are: one pointed up and one pointed off to the side. I am sifting through them with someone else I can’t see. He picks one up as he repeats: “That’s the way of the deer”, “Oh, yeah, that’s the way of the deer”.

The deer ears remind me of drawings of owl’s cones of hearing. Deer’s ears are flexible so she can achieve a similar effect. Owl is a frequent visitor lately. Both owl and deer live in the night and use their hearing to guide them. I took the message to be a clarification of owl’s message: listen to different perspectives, listen to information coming on different frequencies, pay attention to sound.

Talked to Paul Levy and he was saying that flying in the dream is a gateway to lucid dreaming. In other words, it is pretty obvious that you are not awake when you find yourself dreaming, and so you can begin to dream your dream instead of being dreamed. I think this is true, however I also think of the dream flight as a way to learn about the tendencies of your subtle self. There are many ways to fly in a dream and they give an indication as to how you are reacting to events in life. Are you staying centered, or are you flying away from a situation that you don’t want to deal with? Are you bogged down in the muck, or are you able to lift off/transcend?

Got a few leads for the dream world from Paul that I look forward to exploring. More news later.

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Last night I had two dreams where I realized I was dreaming and was able to change the dream, however with both I was so sucked into the dream that instead of detaching and using the dreamtime I fiddled around with the dream.

Dream 1: In high school, I have somehow offended my teachers, all but one, for over-thinking the questions. Feeling very persecuted and start to lift off to fly away out of fear. Then I realize I am sleeping and go back down to the floor and looking out of the corner of my eye at them, I mentally suggest that they do indeed like me. Right away (which surprises me) they start treating me favorably.
Dream 2: Don’t remember too much. I get excited when I see two adults dressed up like juvenile eagles and flying a little (just barely off the ground, briefly). I take detailed notes on their costumes, they are wearing loose leggings that are dark gray-brown, with a subtle diamond pattern. On top, it could easily be a baggy sweat shirt of the same color with hoods up and very large (proportionate to their human size) feathers all over. The feathers are supersized down, these are eagle chicks. They were putting some stuff in large bags.
I have to be somewhere I’m not supposed to be in order to observe (up close, only a couple feet away–they don’t care about me being there/acknowledge me,) I get in trouble for trespassing by some people. They start to attack me, I realize I am dreaming and proceed to butcher these people who are in my way.

Trying to be less judgmental about what I do in dreams, you know…with the butchering, for example. These things are metaphors after all! Hopefully next time I will be aware enough to put myself to sleep and find out what I was doing when I did the butchering! Similarly to these dreams, when I am awake and realize that I manifesting my world, for example by being afraid, rather than sending out positive energy. Sometimes I am present enough to change the mental pattern to be more positive, and sometimes I am stuck in the mental rut, but either way I am still caught up in the dream. Instead I could try just letting go of the whole situation and meditating for a bit to really wake up. There’s an idea!

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Tricky Mind

Lately I’ve been getting a lot of questions about how this all got started, the vivid dreams, etc. I used to have the occasional flight dream and I always loved the experience. Then I got really into the idea of someday being able to fly while awake, sure it seems crazy, but why not reach for the stars. I focused a lot more on my dreams, recording them and analyzing them, and trying to get clues about what it means to fly in dreams and how I could eventually fly while awake. The more I focus on my dreams the more I remember them and the more insight and delight they bring me. Sometimes a dream’s meaning will click immediately and sometimes years later the images will finally make sense.
Since I have been doing this project many people have told me about their flight dreams. I love hearing dream stories, it is so special when someone shares this private and sensitive part of their lives with me. The Fly Awake project, like my art in general, has to do with experiences coming from my spiritual practices, and sharing these experiences with others. After seeing the show, people shared with me their own spiritual experiences and ideas about flight from places I hadn’t looked into. This was a truly awesome, totally unexpected happening. People have frequently reacted very positively to my work, and found it contemplative and calming, which is what I want, but never have they responded so candidly. This makes me very happy.
Recently I have been reading more about shamanism, to get insight about the dream world, and for all you dream fliers out there, this is considered a sign of flexibility and awareness on the part of your soul, which is the part of you that flies while dreaming, and is a “prerequisite,” (if you can deal with that idea,) for further shamanic explorations.
I read of a shaman who was taught that when she realized she was dreaming to go to sleep, and when she again realized she was dreaming to go to sleep again. At the second level of dream lucidity she would see crazier stuff and at the third level she was able to interact more and to ask for and receive information. (This is from Woman in the Shaman’s Body). I thought I would work on this, and had the following
I start to lift of the ground, flying is a sort of sloppy, swimmy way. I realize I am dreaming and lay down to go to sleep. I focus on my third eye, with my eyes closed. There is a really shiny, shimmering white light in front of me. Things get clearer and clearer, I feel like I am waking up for real, and worry that I messed up the dream and am actually awake. My mom’s there, she is bugging me about something or other as I wake up. I want her to leave me alone. Later there is a girl (me, but I’ve dissociated), she’s teaching a classroom of kids, then I worry that she has killed herself, but I see that actually she killed her mother (appearing still as my mother), I am happy about this outcome.

Well I didn’t exactly make it to the second level of lucidity, the mind is a super tricky thing! Hopefully I will remember to experiment with that in future dreams.
Lucid dreaming can vary from just being aware of yourself dreaming to being able to fully effect the outcome of your dream. We are all manifesting our waking reality whether we realize it or not. Playing with lucidity in the dream world helps bring awareness to this process while awake. Are you awake, or are you asleep?

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