Archive for the ‘shamanism’ Category


I look at some big maps. The are of the atlas variety. The first one that I am shown is a country near India, or Europe. In the empty/negative space around the country, there is text book type information. I don’t read it yet. But, I know that this is a map of a particularly potent place on Earth. I am excited to look at other places. There are maps of every place. I think about Iowa City, where I was born, maybe that is cool. I look at the map but there is nothing special about it. I pick up two more maps of potent places. One is a country near Puru (Bolivia?) and one is an uninhabited land like Antarctica, only at the top (N. Pole).

This information, these tomes, come from the mouth of a stone oven, which is a library. Dileepji led me here, I was hoping that he would come back again to help me out some more. There is a tall thin man, who lives in the oven. He walks around hunched over, it is only about 4-5 feet tall. He brings things out for me and goes back into other stone rooms, to get things for me from the stacks.



I want to explore these areas more and read the text that comes with them. Are they places on Earth, or perhaps, in Earth. I was thinking a lot about Hollow Earth theories, due to too much Lost, before sleep. What are these places? Are they maps of entry points, or the places themselves? What are there properties? This brought me back to my current map project. Time to get back to work on it.


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In some dark building. I look at a bunch of people. They are sitting with their blankets. One is made of two buffalo hides sewn together in the middle to form a rectangle.  This blanket is dirty and there is no energy in it. It is a sad blanket. I am instructed to take it to a powerful place and put the energy back in it. I think this means a place in nature, but once I get outside I am guided up the outside metal staircase, to the roof of a five or six story building. This building is among the trees, it seems like an old hospital or maybe a office or apartment building. This was the building I was just in.  There are people milling about around the building. I sit on the side of the roof opposite the stairs. I hold my hands above the blanket and let the energy fill the blanket. I think that maybe it is so low energy because it was made by killing without respect.

Soon the blanket is full of energy and I have a vision of a buffalo surrounded by vivid green grass. I feel joyful, the buffalo seems joyful. We communicate, in a way where my spirit body communicates but my mind doesn’t really understand. My body moves as this happens. People are walking around on the roof near me–they see what I’m doing, but don’t seem to mind.

I am told this is my gift. (Putting energy in and feeling/communicating.)


It seems the buffalo’s death can be made better by the energy interaction, even so long after his death. It seems like this thing I love so much–communicating through energy with plants, rocks, and animals, can go further than I thought. In my waking time, I am starting to see how my interactions, that help me so much, also give love and help to the beings I communicate with.

This was a perfect dream for Thanksgiving. The buffalo symbolizes manifesting abundance through right action and right prayer. Buffalo is also about gratitude and groundedness. I am learning how setting the right gentle intention for crystal work, plant work, work with relatives, etc can very much change the type of experience you would have. Approach with gentleness and love, receive gentleness and love. Also, expressing thanks for all the abundance that is in my life.  So beautiful, so often!

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I like everyone joining together to remember what they have to be thankful for. It can also be hard for me as a vegetarian. Seeing all the meat is upsetting. The last couple Thanksgivings I have been to, it seemed like people were having trouble thinking of what they had to be thankful for. Buffalo spirit made me feel that by honoring the food/meat and recognizing all that we have to be thankful for things can be made better–nature can feel the respect due. It is so important to be grateful for the food that we are given.

As we head into the winter the Bison is a symbol of strength, using its large head to push aside snow and eat the green grass underneath. Slowly moving along the easiest path, appreciating the natural flow of an unhurried life.

Thank you to Bison/Buffalo and to my crystal wand that has been helping my sleep and dreams the last few days.

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Crystal Talk


I go to sleep holding my seed crystal in my hand. Luc Bourgault recommends this practice when beginning to work with quartz. He says not to worry if you let go of the crystal, because it instinctively knows where to go to do the work needed. Then clear your crystal in salted water in the morning (see his instructions).

I wake up twice to find the crystal resting on my belly. I want to remember this because I know the crystal is working. I dream I am telling someone about it. She explains that the crystal talks to the area. I tell her it was pointed towards the area that needed help. She says, “Actually, it is pointed away from that area, to take the energy out. It only takes about 10 minutes.”

Throughout the night, my dreams are so much clearer, I feel mixed up with the clear quartz energy. I look forward to continuing sleep work with the crystal. Thank you crystal!

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1. I go back to dance class. I’m really happy to be there and see my old dance teacher and some of the people I used to take class with. The colors are all browns. The only thing that is missing is the jumping, we are not doing any jumping in this class. How I love to jump. I get graded on all different aspects of my current dancing. Everyone else is graded too. I worry that my performance isn’t so good anymore. I get an “A”, “as always, lily” on my performance. I dance some more and am so happy. When people aren’t looking I try and do some of the flying I used to do. I do fly a little. The tricks I used in dream time are working now, while I’m awake! Yeah!!!

2. I go to camp, Joan (my boss) tells me to take the Oregon test. Erica will drive me there, she is taking the other test (the Washington test?). This test-taking is something you are normally supposed to prepare for–oh, well! At camp it turns out that you can stay longer. I do and my home is not a cabin, but a cardboard box–that’s what happens when you stay longer, but it doesn’t matter at all it is beautiful and great. I see another guy who’s stayed longer as well, he walks by me as I lay under my box, cuddled up against the grassy earth, comforted by the amazing blue sky that has just the right amount of clouds. I can’t see the coast from where I’m laying–I’m hours in from the water. When I look from above I can see the island, it is so beautiful, and I can see down to the bottom, how just the green top is shown to us, but how the sides go down to the bottom of the ocean. Birds fly above me–groups of birds–several kinds flying together. They are close, maybe I can identify some of them. I am so happy. I love being in nature again. Everywhere is green and fertile, very pleasant.

Waking, a couple patterns I’ve been noticing:

First of all, since before I took my first yoga class at my new yoga place, I’ve been having a “back to dance class-joy” dream the night before my next class. I did dance for about a dozen years, and have really been missing it lately. All the classes that I’ve been taking at Root Whole Body have a lot of movement in them–vinyasa, nia, and even pilates. Which I didn’t really know ahead of time. I am particularly liking the Nia stuff. Each time I have a dance dream (the night before class) it is very related to what happens in class. In this case the class I took (Vinyasa) was a particularly awesome movement class, alas there was no jumping, and I really felt that. It so could have been dance class, if we had just had some jumping! I am on the lookout for adult dance classes in Portland. Or, the night before I first stopped into Roots to check it out: I dreamt that I went to a yoga class where people were doing yoga-ish dance. It seemed cool and interesting. Then I go to Roots the next day, and they say: “We don’t just have yoga, we also have Nia–it’s kind of a mixture of dance and yoga.” Tee hee.

Secondly, these particular dreams happened the night following a galactic activation portal. Galactic activation portals are an aspect of the Mayan calendar–these are times when it is easier to download information from higher sources, i.e. otherworldly information, psychic connections. I would think that I would have crazier dreams during the actual day, but instead I keep having awesome dreams the night following the portal day. Perhaps this is me synthesizing the information/energy that has come during the g. a. p. day. For more information on this stuff, check out: Planet Art Network.

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Plane Wing


Hanging out with three friends. One is an herbalist, one is Martin Crane from Frasier. We get on an airplane wing, sitting two-by-two, take liquid pharmaceuticals and then ride into the evening. I keep my left leg from dangling by putting it up by the herbalist. The first time I have my shoes on and he can handle it. The second time, I have by socks off and he can’t take it–he really doesn’t like bacteria. This is quite a surprise, he seems like such an earthy guy. We all talk a lot. Later we’re in a living room and I ask Martin when he became afraid of water, meaning dreams. He’s behind a bookcase grabbing something and he doesn’t hear. Still, I like talking about dreams.

Wake: So, I am taking an herb class with 2 others and the teacher. I like it very much. Before bed, I asked brown bear and seed crystal where I should best direct my energy. Then I find myself with the herb group :). When I woke up Kevin said that I had been having an in depth conversation in my sleep–but he couldn’t remember the details. I wonder about what makes dreams different that one ends up talking out loud, and clearly or unclearly.

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Chandra shows me the secret passage to the underworld. You have to go through the tiny panal. It’s about the size of a fuse-box, but I slip through easily. You cannot go through the larger door next to it, that looks like a dresser, you may only leave through that door. Inside it is like being the base of a giant tree, or maybe in the earth. Across a space about as big as the average bathroom, with roots hanging down is the doorway to the actual underworld. Before you get there, gray ghosts that have a physical presence will confront/attack you.

I leave and tell some people about this secret passage. I go back to try to make it all the way into the underworld. All the people I’ve told rush past me and many enter through the wrong door–the dresser like door. When I get inside I am alone, except for the gray ghost mirror image twins that are my chihuahua Coco. He keeps bothering me and getting in my face. I try to smash the two heads together and beat him off of me. But, in the underworld you have to be very direct and say exactly what you want in order to get through. I tell him he is being inappropriate and to stop jumping on me. He stops, but I wake up before I get across the way and into the door to the underworld.


Ah! Clear direct communication comes up again in relation to the underworld.  What is the underworld? Our dark shadow self, with all the uglies rearing their heads. Who are the physical ghosts? Neither black nor white, these are beings that will listen if we communicate directly, are they just excuses we use to not face the hairier parts of ourselves. The other day I was wrestling with Kevin, he was tickling me insanely. I tried to equally harrass him to get him to stop. It didn’t work at all, but finally I got so pissed, I yelled “Stop it!” And he did. Clear, direct communication. Not getting what you want? Are you even letting the world know what it is that you want?

Also with manifestation. I use visualization a lot. Usually I do this when my worries are getting to me. To counteract my fears, I will visualize a favorable outcome. Lately I have been trying saying clearly what I want, along with visualization. It seems to be working all the better. So maybe that is what this mysterious 5th chakra of communication is all about! So obvious, yet easier to theorize than to say it appears!

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A friend of mine (a guy) and his friend (also a guy, but seemingly younger/smaller) tell me about how they’ve found an apartment. They’re staying in a house for five, with four rooms. They sound very excited about it. Really my friend speaks for both of them.

Later, I am away, as in a vacation. I find a place to stay for the night. A little rooming house. I over hear a lady ask the manager: “So, if I decide to stay a minute or two late (meaning 5:07) will I be charged extra?” The manager lady (somewhat begrudgingly) says no. Then she is talking to me and informs me the checkout time is 5. I understand this to mean 4pm, initially I thought it might be am, but that would be strange. I am pretty happy about this information, I hate having to rush early in the morning and carry my belongings with me around town.  I remember my friend Rachel stayed here before, and told me about the late check out time, but left early in the day anyway. I was sad that she left early when we could have hung out longer, but I understood that she had things to do.

The place is nice for a house. I am comfortable.  I am the only one around after being shown to my room. The other lady and the manager have gone. I decide to look around. Furnishings look to have been purchased in the late 70’s, but are well maintained. The furniture may be older, it is nice, but the bed coverings have those colors and materials. Nothing’s gaudy, they weren’t trendy when purchased, just of that era. I like that about the place, I wish more things were maintained instead of pitching and remodeling. Most of the rooms are very small like mine. There are only three bedrooms so far. The rest are common spaces, this is also nice, places to live in, as opposed to just using every scrap of space for renting rooms. Then I find the double room. I peak in. It has a full bed and a smaller mattress on the floor. It looks comfortable but sparse (like the rest of the place), somewhat institutional I guess. Every few moments as I am looking I realize there are people sleeping in the beds. I try to become more aware of this. I realize they are my friends (the guy and his friend). I find this comforting. I quietly back away and go to my room.

The next day I go down to the river for a festival or carnival of some sort. I walk on the boardwalk and see a variety of people. One asks me about Coco, I explain I didn’t want to bring him for this. I see a little chihuahua, I think it might be Chichi. I pick her up and smell her belly. It’s not her. I am a little disappointed.

I lean on the railing and look out over the river. It’s dusky, night is almost full, everything looks black and white. I see a very large owl flying down the river and into some woods that are off to my right in a small island.  It was a barred owl. I see a couple more owls, flying in the same direction. They are not all the same, but one is a barred owl. Then I see one flying towards me and off to my left. This one has a white moon face–barn owl! I had never seen a barn owl before.  I am in shock about how amazing it is to see the owls. They are so beautiful.

I want to take pictures of the owls. When I get out my camera they are gone. An eagle lands on a buoy to fish. I think maybe I’ll take his picture since the owls are gone. He does some funny things with his wings, like try to scratch his back–when he does, his color goes funny, sort of thin/transparent, and he doesn’t seem so real, like maybe he is not an eagle.

As I continue looking at him he is more like a person. He sits more like a man, and looks at me. He has an eagle beak. He is reddish, he has a long beard that goes from blond to red, or red to blond, it is hard to pin down.

He’s on the boardwalk now. As big as a big man, looking like a 6’4″ morbidly obese Native American man.  I ask to take his picture and he doesn’t seem to object, nevertheless he keeps shapeshifting in ugly ways. First he looks like an eagle. Then his beard is back. I have been trying to politely talk with him, despite his attitude being a little off-putting. I tell him that I like his beard. He looks down, as if to say, this is not a beard. I had been trying to figure out if it was a beard or feathers. At that moment, I realize it is made up of very fine peacock-like feathers, very wispy, and  very many.

Then he grabs a person walking by and poses for the camera like they are sloppy drunk people. Then he again looks huge and fat.  He sits in front of me, looking straight at me.  Just as I am about to take the picture, he turns his head over his right shoulder and vomits dark brown–he’s eaten too much. His vomiting makes me so sick that I turn and vomit over the rail. My vomit is light in color. I find this situation strange, as I do not normally get sick to my stomach. I turn back and finally take his picture. Then I think about how we both probably need to brush our teeth.


This dream was very puzzling for me. It brought up some issues I have been thinking about regarding cameras and dreams and cameras and birds. I have a big internal battle between over respecting boundaries and knowing when things are no big deal. Here’s where I am siding for the moment: I think it is really important to take pictures of subtle things (like birds who know you’re watching) only if they seem okay with it, and your heart really wants it. I, on the other hand, have been doing a bit of casual shooting, kind of: ‘oh, I want to shoot owls, but I’ll take you since you’re around’. Not very respectful of the life form that happens to rank not so high at the present time. So that was a good lesson, especially since I have been working on my guide: Taking Your Camera into Dreamtime.

Let’s see, the dream also reminds me of a crappy movie I saw recently (the bed and mattress on the floor) and a particularly unsavory fellow that I ran into at work. I almost became lucid when I puked, as that is apparently even more unlikely than me standing in front of a shapeshifting eagle. Here’s to more lucidity in the future.

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